|
Why You Should Love Sports, You Ninny
I am a fan of sports, and so should you be. Why do I love sports? I love the suspense of not knowing what will happen. I love that the outcome of the game depends on the qualities of the players, and that the factors not directly related to these qualities-the officials, the weather, injuries, luck-aren't strong enough to be decisive, that the wildcard aspect only adds to the game's unknowability, its mystery. I love that a team is a group of flawed people who strive to embellish their virtues and minimize their weaknesses, both as individuals, and as a team, while their opponents attempt to exploit them. Sports are ruthless, and I love them for it. In sports, players struggle against others, and also against themselves. I love watching human desperation, live, in real time. I love that sports are a cross between art (which I love), and war (which I hate, like any sane person, though war is very interesting to read about). I love sports because they reveal, like no other human endeavor, the personalities and flaws of those who play them; I love the claustrophobic intimate. I love that sports are a novel that unfolds in real time, with characters, themes, motifs, suspense, repetitions, surprises, suspense, shocking endings, wild joy and crushing disappointments, and the guarantee of things I've never seen before. I love sports because they give me an excuse to yell cunt! at the television. You should try it. Cunt! It's very fun. I love sports because sports are a race against the clock, and not just the game clock, but the biological clock of the players, who can feel their bodies failing as their will grows stronger, feel the beauty of glory and success as it is slipping away. To paraphrase John Ashbery, I love sports because they half-seriously offer with one hand what they pocket with the other. I love to watch the faces of the team that has lost while they watch the celebrations of the team that has won. I love sports because I wish I was good at them, I was always picked last, I am awkward and clumsy. I believe that sports and art are the two best things people do.
BACK TO TOP
|
