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Community Shield Preview
You know you don’t have a rivalry yet when no one on the field is close to getting punched. Seriously, have you ever seen more deferential title rivals than Chelsea and Arsenal? There’s not even a pretense of tackling or kicking; their 2-2 “classic” of last season had no passion at all. There wasn’t one memorable late tackle, and no fights in the tunnel. Of course, it’s different in the boardroom, with Chelsea honcho Peter Kenyon taking Arsenal’s players out to dinner, but until the Gunners beat the Blues, Abrahmovich will keep on acting like the gangster he is, while Arsenal stew in bitter helplessness. The managers, Arsene Wenger and Jose Mourinho, seem wary and annoyed by each other, nothing more. The FA Community Shield, an annual preseason matchup between last season’s two top teams, seems like a great place for the hate to start flowing. Let us hope.
Arsenal got weaker in the off-season by selling their enforcer, Patrick Vieira, while Chelsea spent more money, bought new players, and solidified their hold on all the championship. Nothing but an injury to Claude Makelele can stop them from repeating in the league.
But Makelele is thirty-four, the age when legs break down, if they haven’t failed already. Come to think of it, he’s out for this game: his hamstring’s tweaked, and Chelsea have no clear replacement for him. The Community Shield may be a meaningless fixture, and yet we look to it for hints about the season yet to come. I’m pulling for a thriller with some fights. Likely Combatants
Chelsea
Peter Cech, goalkeeper: Enjoyed a phenomenal first season for Chelsea, surrendering only nine goals in the league. Of course, it’s easy to look good if you play behind John Terry, but still, this kid doesn’t make mistakes. A true gem in Mourinho’s crown, when you consider how anonymous he was before coming to south London. On the way to becoming an all-time great, and though he lacks Peter Schmeichel’s personality, the tactics of his manager are more conservative than Schmeichel’s were, and he’ll probably see fewer one-on-ones in ten years at Chelsea than the Dane did in one season at United.
Asier del Horno, left back: An attack-minded left back who just arrived from Spain, del Horno impressed in pre-season with his free kicks and passing, and looked more comfortable than Wayne Bridge. Chelsea dithered a tad before they signed him, which makes you wonder if they wanted Kakha Kaladze more. He probably won’t dramatically alter Chelsea, but he exemplifies the difference between his team and
Arsenal: Chelsea had needs, and addressed them. Arsenal didn’t.
Paulo Ferriera, right back: Chelsea overpaid for this tall and tawny fullback, but he improved steadily in his first year in England, and this should be a better time for him. The tough, frenetic style of the Premiership can shock more technically sound, latin players, and he remains the one Chelsea starter who seems capable of a big mistake.
John Terry, center half: A flawless, colossal and passionate presence for Chelsea, he stops the other team dead, and scores all the huge goals. He put Barcelona to the sword in the Champion’s League last year, and the list of scalps he’s taken should grow this year. The best defender of his generation. People talk about the leadership of Steven Gerrard, but Terry, the Chelsea captain, is the next Roy Keane, and soon he’ll have the trophies to prove it.
Ricardo Carvalho, center half: The quiet, unassuming partner of John Terry is Portugal’s best defensive player, and his easy adjustment to the Premiership attests to his quality. Could maybe be a little stronger, and broader, but couldn’t get much smarter. An effortless deflater of attacks, he either beats his man to the spot, or was standing there already. Suffers from a slight lack of flair, and could use a better haircut, although, to his credit, he looks like a smoker.
William Gallas, defender: Can play across the whole back four, but, like so many jack-of-all trade players, he suffers for being versatile, and may need someone to get hurt to stay in the team. Hates playing fullback, and moaned some last season, but imagine how he’d feel at someplace like Newcastle. The fact that Liverpool, who need a center half with his speed, strength, and instincts, haven’t tried to buy him, tells you everything you need to know about Mourinho’s opinion of him. Came into the French team just in time for them to collapse.
Robert Huth, center half: The Stamford Bridge fan favorite, this big and young German will probably become a useful player under Jose Mourinho, but he’ll also probably have to leave Chelsea if he ever wants to start. One of the few German players not in the Bundesliga. Supporters love him because he looks like a dork.
Claude Makelele, midfielder: Of all the great defensive midfielders of his era—Fernando Redondo, Edgar Davids, Didier Deschamps, Roy Keane—Makelele was the most unknown, and yet, at thirty-four, he’s still at his peak, while all the others have declined or retired. The most important player on two teams, Chelsea and Madrid, who haven’t recovered from losing him two years ago. Chelsea don’t have posses an understudy for him, and if he should go down, Peter Kenyon will regret not buying Michael Essien. Said to be injured for this game, depriving first-time viewers of the chance to see a perfect defensive midfielder.
Tiago, midfielder: Writing about Chelsea can get dull, because they have so few weaknesses, and not one neurotic player. The one-named Portuguese import Tiago is what counts for a question mark at Stamford Bridge, because he doesn’t do much to catch the eye, he just gets on with his position and scores a few goals. Because he’s no Makelele or Lampard, the specter of new and sexier arrivals will haunt his time at Chelsea, which is why he was mentioned as a makeweight in the Essien deal. Maybe he should grow a funny moustache.
Joe Cole, midfielder: What a life this kid is having. Once the most over-hyped player in Europe, now fighting for his life as an undersized utility type who gets by on guts. Played some great stuff near the end of last season, getting stuck in and scoring goals, and he needed to; the guys ahead of him on the depth chart are the geniuses he was supposed to be. As long as Arjen Robben stays fragile, he should always have a place.
Frank Lampard, midfielder: If he didn’t already play for Chelsea, Peter Kenyon would’ve asked him to dinner. A truly great midfielder, and one of the gems of Chelsea’s burgeoning hegemony. Hasn’t missed game through injury for almost two years. Big, strong, fast, can pass and tackle, and scores a ton of goals. Because of his consistency, you have to say that he’s the best active English player, and while he might not have Wayne Rooney’s explosive upper register, the fact that he’s at Chelsea will ensure that he’ll win more trophies. Lacks the body language of the all-time greats, but make no mistake, he’s our Platini.
Arjen Robben, midfielder: This kid has more talent than three-fourths of the Premiership put together, and the only thing that’s keeping him from becoming the next Zidane is a penchant for injury. In fact, he’s a doubt for this game. His passing, vision, and control of the ball are as good as Ronaldinho’s, and the fact that he isn’t as athletic as the Brazilian somehow makes him more interesting to watch. So slow he hardly seems to move, and yet no one can get close to him. The best active Dutch player, and football’s Larry Bird. When he’s healthy, Chelsea are unbeatable.
Damien Duff, midfielder: Workhorse left winger looks a little bit like Frankenstein, and he monsters defenders with his speed, goals and passing. Liverpool should’ve bought him, and not Harry Kewell, even though Kewell cots thirteen million pounds less. You get what you pay for. Like Robben, he’s left-footed, which made everybody think they couldn’t play together—and boy, were we all wrong—like Robben, he’s too injury-prone for Chelsea’s liking, which is why they invested in…
Shawn Wright-Phillips, midfielder: Right-footed winger with blazing speed and tricky skills whose acquisition gives Chelsea an outrageous amount of depth in their midfield. Man City gave him up without a fight, and, at only twenty million, he seemed to go cheap. Speed like this kid has is priceless, though he’s still a bit raw. If he plays a lot this year, expect the England manager, Sven Goran-Erickson, to flirt with benching Beckham, or maybe he’ll tinker with his position. Out with the old, in with the new.
Eidur Gudjohnsen, forward: This mostly non-scoring forward is being changed into the midfielder he should’ve been in the first place. Tall, fast, runs hard, and wants to make the big pass. If he had any greed at all, he’d make a brilliant forward, because his gifts for the position are superb. Still, it’s hard to fault a guy for not being a jerk, and he’s one of his manager’s favorite squad players.
Carlton Cole, forward: Another big and fast center forward who doesn’t score. Spent the last couple years on loan to various teams, and time will tell if a player with these gifts can be coached into an instinct for the goal. For now, he’s here to use his size and strength to bang into defenders. Mourinho likes big players.
Didier Drogba, forward: Forward isn’t Chelsea’s best position, despite their zillions. They spent twenty-four million pounds on this guy, who has the size of a colossus and the speed of a deer, but can’t score goals at all. A sensitive giant whose every miss torques his face into new kinds of uncomfortable, his place is under pressure this year, with arrival of Hernan Crespo. Playing for an owner with unlimited resources has shielded him from the scrutiny a twenty-four million pound player should receive, and the media have given him a pass for spooning all those open headers. Still, he runs his ass off for the team, and Mourinho likes to make his forwards drag defenders from the area, which didn’t help him, either. He’s a product of France, after all, and doesn’t like to use his head, or hold the ball up, English-style.
Crespo: This famously deadly poacher bombed at Chelsea two years ago, but one year in Milan restored his reputation, and now he’s back London, against his will and looking for payback. If Robben’s healthy enough to feed him chances, he could lead the Premiership in goals. On the other hand, his lack of strength and speed, and his aversion to English football’s physical style could ruin his game, and torture Argentina’s best forward before the World Cup. Can score from any angle, and no one—I mean no one—has more poise in front of goal, but he doesn’t really pass and hates to run, unless it’s at the goal, with the ball. This makes him the opposite of Chelsea’s other forwards, so he should fit in well. Long-haired, slouchy, sloppy, pot-head looking-type, whose goals could carry Chelsea to into immortality, in part, at least, because Drogba’s won’t.
Jose Mourinho, manager: Possesses all the personality his players seem to lack. Funny, obnoxious, contentious, maniacal, and frequently weird. We all know he’s a genius, and that no one can compete with his brains—or his boss’s money—but for entertainment’s sake, Chelsea need to lose this game, so we can watch him scowl through his concession speech.
Arsenal
Jens Lehmann and Matthew Almunia, goalkeepers: Wenger was too busy selling midfield lynchpin Patrick Vieira to do the only thing he had to do: get a goalie. Thus, the comedy duo returns for another year. Lehmann will probably start, and if he does, he’ll make a mistake that will yield a goal. At some point in November, Almunia will be starting, and he’ll make enough mistakes to lose his place to Lehmann. Anyone see a pattern here?
Ashley Cole, left back: How will Cole react after Chelsea left him blue-balled? Who will Cole resent more: Chelsea, for buying Asier del Horno instead of him, or Wenger, for cock-blocking his move? Why did Wenger sell Vieira, instead of the wantaway Ashley Cole? Cole’s gifts for football vie with his gifts for controversy, and he has a choice to make this year: who is Ashley Cole?
Lauren, right back: This converted midfielder fits right in with the Arsenal: he passes well, but doesn’t really tackle. Guys like him have a choice to make, with the absence of Vieira: either dial up the tackling, or ignore it altogether, and go for seven goals a game. The Community Shield will find him defending Arjen Robben. Not the Gunners’ best matchup. If you can figure out how he gets his hair to have those neat little stripes, shoot me an email. Sol Campbell, center half: People used to think this guy was a great defender until teenager Phillipe Senderos arrived. Now, Campbell is lucky to get in the team. You have to feel bad for anyone who falls from grace this quickly, but Campbell was always overrated, and if his size and strength can’t rule the day, if he has to use his mind and find the right position, he always blows it. Plus, his Achilles injury seems to not be healing. Trade him for Jermaine Jenas?
Kolo Toure: Vieira’s departure could unsettle Toure, who can also play in midfield, and may be needed there to plug the dykes Vieira used to stop up by himself. Wherever he ends up, he’ll probably succeed; he may not be a specialist, but he’s a winner. Meshes better with Senderos than Campbell does, which should keep him in the team no matter what. Wenger put him at the back in an emergency, and he never lost his place.
Phillip Senderos, center half: What Thierry Henry is to the Arsenal frontline, Senderos will be to their defense. Came into the team last year when Campbell went down injured, and should stay there for a decade. You’ll never see a better young defender than Senderos. He’s fast, smart, knows where to stand, intimidates attackers and keeps his poise. Wenger had to fight off half of Europe to get his signature. Seems to play better next to Kolo Toure, and what Senderos wants, Senderos will get.
Gilberto Silva, midfielder: Wow, did this guy just get more important. With Vieira’s departure, this is the only Arsenal player who has proved he can screen his defenders. Wenger will be praying that his injuries from last year have healed. Doesn’t have much of a Q rating, but he isn’t moody, either, and his temperament might be just what Arsenal needs, after a year of Vieira’s moping.
Matthieu Flamini, midfielder: Another guy who better be ready for his close-up. This young and inexperienced would-be grafter looks like a tough guy, and without Vieira in the team, toughness is exactly what Arsenal need. The fact that all I talk about is Patrick Vieira should give you some idea of the gap his departure leaves. Only Gilberto and Flamini can shut me up. Go for it, dudes.
Cesc Fabregas, midfielder: Vieira’s departure isn’t all gloom and doom; it assures that young Cesc Fabregas will have to play. Formerly the jewel of Barcelona’s youth program, and soon to be the gem of whatever Arsenal are calling their new stadium. Fabregas is the player Freddie Adu was supposed to be. Too small to run the midfield on his own, but has the passing, speed and vision of superstar, and he re-confirms Wenger as the best thrift-store shopper in the game.
Freddie Ljungberg, midfielder: Arsenal need a season of goals and splendor from Ljungberg, who just signed a big extension, and finds himself a leader now, with new responsibilities. Big, fast, and loves to score; you can see his face and torso in Jockey ads throughout the world. Can win a match on his own, like most of Arsenal’s midfielders.
Robert Pires, midfielder: Currently entangled in a messy contract wrangle, which is unfortunate for a player who has reached the astral heights of ultra-greatness for his club. When he’s at his best, and directs the Arsenal attack, they can’t be touched at all, and score at will, which happened only half the time last year, and Wenger need to motivate him, pronto. He’s been Arsenal’s best midfield creator, and you don’t let guys like him and Vieira go in the same pre-season.
Aleksander Hleb, midfielder: This Belorussian winger plays the same position as Freddie Ljungberg. Hard to know what say about a guy I’ve never seen, but since he was bought by Wenger, one may prosaically specify two good feet, excellent speed and a nose for goal. Plus, I love his name.
Jose Reyes, forward: Spent most of last year selling himself to Madrid, but ended up signing an extension with the Gunners, perhaps because Real had opted for Baptista and Robinho, and nobody else wanted him. Tough luck, kiddo. Only his vast reserves of skill have kept the Highbury fans from killing him, and if he plays to his considerable potential this year, he’ll be back in their good graces. Blessed with a wonderful game, but his temperament is suspect. Chelsea will be hoping he starts, which I guess says it all.
Robin van Persie, forward: Should be preparing for a breakout year, but a rape charge in Holland could screw up his season, and his life. It seems almost inappropriate to talk about his footballing here, so I will limit my comments to a single observation: he needs to score more goals. He’s a forward, after all.
Dennis Bergkamp, forward: The aged master here begins what must be his final year in football. Has added more beauty to the world than half the poets in Europe. There was a time, not so long ago, when every time he touched the ball, the world would gasp. He rarely makes an impression these days, and expect Makelele to kick him. For old times’ sake.
Thierry Henry, forward: The world’s most spectacular center forward. Sensationally gifted as an athlete, and skilled beyond the dreams of his gods, though he’s still not the best big-game player, and if this were a cup final, and not a glorified scrimmage, I’d be saying he wouldn’t score. But the Community Shield is just an exhibition. Expect a hat-trick.
Arsene Wenger, manager: Rewarded by Jaweh for his wars against United with a wealthier, more ruthless opponent. Unless he pulls a whale-sized rabbit from his hat, the world will second-guess his choice to sell Vieira, and he’s in uncharted territory this year, with nobody trusting him. Gunners fans hope he knows what he’s doing.
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